Potentially A Downturn...

Yesterday was very shattering on the nerves.  Weasel ate all of his food in the morning, then an hour or so later, started behaving strangely and laying on a small rug by our kitchen door.  He's normally quite active so I instantly knew something was amiss.  He began to roam around, trying to get comfortable and sitting in many different places within our house - always low to the ground.  Shortly after that, I went to see him and talk to him.  He opened his mouth at me and a deep hollow sounding meow came out. He sat there looking up at me with his mouth open and panting.  He stayed like this - panting for quite some time.  The frustration and anxiety over not being able to help him was something I dread having to endure over and over again and naturally had me thinking the worst on all accounts.

Eventually Weasel was violently ill, loosing all of his breakfast.  He vomited again shortly after that but all he had was white foam to release.  He had foam hanging from his mouth and he sat there panting.  He's been sick numerous times before but this was an unusual reaction.  It appeared as though the pain overwhelmed him.  What I'm shocked by is how normal he was the previous day, that he did in fact eat his breakfast and then suddenly, out of the blue had this reaction.

In a fit of panic I reached out to Dr. Haghighat on a Sunday - his day off, and unbelievably he called me back.  I don't know any other medical professional who would do that, well, at least in my life, that's never happened before.  If there was a 'vet of the year' award to nominate him for, I would do it in a flash.  His kindness is most welcome when one is facing situations such as this.  He told me about the Traumeel, which we were able to obtain at Shoppers Drug Mart right away.

Weasel ate about a tablespoon of food at 11:30 pm last night but otherwise didn't touch a thing and sat on his cat mat all day, trying to sleep it off.  What I did notice was that half an hour after I applied Naltrexone on his ear, he jumped up on the couch and came to get a cuddle which was quite the welcoming sign.  About 2 hours prior to that, I also applied Traumeel ointment on his ear and some on his stomach, where he's licked his fur off.  I'm fairly certain his mood lift was due to the Naltrexone though.

This morning, he was chatting with me again which I was pleased to see, but still barely ate anything.  He was willing to eat a large spoonful of food with nothing in it - ie. HMF powder, tissue salts, etc. but refuses to touch the food with the Essiac Tea and Life Gold which could potentially provide him with relief.  Any of the remedies he receives can only help and now I have the issue that he's off of everything.  I truly hope it's temporary.

This afternoon I'm taking him to see Dr. Haghighat and am hoping that we can administer an injection that will provide relief and/or stimulate his appetite.  I'm in somewhat of a sticky predicament in that the visit to the vet usually throws him off of eating, due to the stress of the drive and being poked; however if I don't do anything, he may completely go off of eating, or be so disenchanted with food, that it's virtually impossible to give him remedies.

With respect to how all of this came to be, I did have a thought that perhaps I created the situation.  Two days ago, my husband and I moved all of the furniture from the dining room into the living room, as we're clearing the space to do some minor reno work in the dining room.  I'm not sure if you've read my previous entries, but a while ago, I had noted that Weasel became ill if people visited or if someone other than my husband or I, fed him.  It seems as though any stress or anxiety causes tension that perhaps pushes on the tumour and instigates vomit.  The vomiting is obviously quite painful and scares him enough to stop eating for at least a day.  Back in the 'good ol' days' when he had the occasional fur ball, he was completely unfazed and it certainly didn't impact his appetite.

This situation is quite an eye opener to how terrifying cancer is.  I am thankful in that my immediate family/loved ones have never been negatively impacted by cancer.  My mother's melanoma was caught in time so I didn't have to watch her slowly deteriorate in front of me.  When one goes through this ordeal, which I'm sure many of you can relate to, it's hard to not fall into a depression due to complete helplessness.  I truly thought we had this under control but these past two weeks have taught me otherwise.  That being said though, I have to remind myself that I would have only had about 3 months with him, had we moved forward on the surgery which likely involved removing the pancreas.  Cats can't handle the toll it takes on them. I've had 7 wonderful months with Weasel since diagnosis.

Tight Stomach

I'm not sure if any of you have noticed this, should your kitty also have a pancreatic tumour, but these past few days, it's really become quite apparent to me.  I have another kitty - Gabriel (Goober) who is the chunky round one in the family.  Although he's a plump one, if you push on his sides, you eventually feel his ribs and there's a lot of give, as though his insides are soft and malleable.  This, from my experience is completely normal and should be what happens.

If you touch Weasel's side, there is no give at all.  It feels to me as though there's something pushing extremely hard against his rib cage.  His skin is tight and his sides are starting to protrude.  I'm not feeding him extra so it's not weight gain due to sudden obesity.  He feels tightly bloated.  When I looked this up, it was a symptom that some people described when they talked of their own pancreatic cancer.

I'm honestly shocked.  He hasn't vomited in over two weeks that I can see (unless it was outside), and purrs like crazy when we give him attention.  He's also eating all of his food, including the chicken liver that we started to give him, as his gums were looking grey.  Initially he wasn't fond of the liver.  He has an apparent 'healthy' appetite.  And of course, being a kitty with probably an extremely high pain threshold, he shows no signs of discomfort.  I have to wonder if he's one day just going to suddenly pass away on me within a week - very quickly, literally from eating, purring and playing to...nothing.  It's an awful thought that I can't shake, but with an abdomen shaped like his, it brings forth a lot of questions.

One tell tale sign that something is wrong is how he reacts when his brother is nearby.  Within these past two weeks, if his brother sniffs him or stands too close to him, he suddenly hisses and swats at him.  These two were inseparable their whole lives and now he just wants distance.  So he is sensitive about what surrounds him that's neither my husband or I.

I suppose I'm naive but I really thought this beast of a tumour was under control.  That the growth would stop, but the tumour wouldn't necessarily vanish, just not expand.  Had I gone through with the surgery, I would have only had about 3 more months left with him, as they would have had to remove the pancreas and according to the traditional vet I was seeing, the toll is too much on a cat.  Although I've had 7 months since diagnosis, no matter what, I'll feel robbed.  His little personality fills a room.  The thought of not having him nearby is truly devastating.